PLAYS

Pat Jones a.k.a.  P.J. Edghill

       

  THE WOMEN OF WARRINGTON     ©2013

All rights reserved, not to be reprinted or used without permission. Please contact for a full version to use.

Excerpt: 

CAST:
KERRY - Caucasian. Late 20’s - mid 30’s professional woman - a lawyer or advertising executive. Self involved. Should be dressed as if coming from work.

LUCY - Caucasian. Kerry’s younger sister. Idealist a teacher or social worker. Should be dressed for moving but still pretty in a natural way.

PETER: - Caucasian. Very Handsome married Neighbor. A good guy. Professional successful and content. Glass half full attitude.  

 

 

SETTNG:  Lucy’s new flat in Detroit on the second block of Warrington, just north of Six Mile Rd. She is moving in.

SET:  Some boxes are strewn/stacked on stage. They have various colored labels.

 

 

ENTER KERRY


KERRY
(Shouting off stage) It’s gorgeous! Look at these mouldings and the fireplace!

 
Her phone rings/vibrates she answers it.


KERRY (CONT’D)

(On the phone) Hell- I haven’t said anything yet...well,she’s just so happy...and the place is so cute...Mom you haven’t even seen it? It’s really nice and the block is...Ok! Calm down. I’ll talk to her. Yes I know it’s Detroit...CHILL OUT! Yes, I just told you to chill out...Well I think that’s appropriate when you are acting this way. You’ve got to...She’s coming back - BYE!


KERRY hangs up the phone. Enter LUCY
 

KERRY (CONT’D)

This is a real home.
 

LUCY
I know!
 

KERRY
Nice, really nice. 


KERRY surveys the boxes. 


KERRY (CONT’D)
I see you used Mom’s color system.
 

LUCY
It’s not Mom’s, it’s Martha Stewart’s!
 

KERRY
Don’t tell Mom that, you’ll incur her wrath. She swears Martha stole it from her!


They both laugh.


LUCY
Trust me, Mom is far more upset with me over moving to Detroit then she’s ever been over Martha Stewart!
 

KERRY
Yeah...I heard.


LUCY
You did? (Makes a face) It’s pretty bad huh?


KERRY
You could say that...


LUCY studies her sister’s face.
 

LUCY
Wait...She put you up to this...coming to help me. 


KERRY
Well...


LUCY
I knew it! I was wondering why you were being so nice to me.


KERRY
That’s harsh! I can be nice - I brought chocolate.


LUCY
(Suspiciously studies her sister) Did Mom buy it?


Kerry tries to avoid her eyes/looks sheepish.


LUCY (CONT’D)
Hand it over.


Kerry digs in her purse and produces a nice (Lindt or Cadbury) bar of chocolate.
 

LUCY (CONT’D)
My favorite kind! Wow! She’s really upset.


LUCY breaks into the chocolate and starts to munch.
 

KERRY
You’re not going to offer me any?
 

LUCY
Why should I? I’m sure she bought you something too.


(Beat) KERRY brings out a second chocolate bar and starts to open and eat it.
 

LUCY (CONT’D)
Just chocolate?


KERRY
No. Dinner and shopping. 


LUCY
Whoa. She’s freaking out.


KERRY
Well why did you move to Detroit? You had a great place in Royal Oak and it was closer to your job. Seems rather ridiculous if you ask me.
 

LUCY
I just needed a change.
 

KERRY
Uh-huh. I’m not buying it. You hate change. You still have a flip phone.
 

LUCY
Well, sometimes change is healthy.
 

KERRY
So buy a new phone. What’s up? ...You’re an awful liar. Spill it.
 

LUCY
Sam’s getting a divorce.
 

KERRY
They just got married six months ago!
 

LUCY
I know it’s so sad.
 

KERRY
What? He’s your ex who dumped you. Why on earth are you sad?  And...Wait! what does this have to do with moving to Detroit?
 

LUCY
I don’t know ...it just depressed me. I mean yes, he dumped me but I believe in love and I thought: OK, I can handle it if it’s real, you know? If it’s meant to be. But after 6 months they get divorced? It’s just so sad. And what does it say for the state of love and marriage?
 

KERRY
That your idiot ex-boyfriend’s a statistic. And this made you move to Detroit?
 

LUCY
Yes, because I believe in love.
 

KERRY
What?!
 

LUCY
It’s not only about Detroit but the area. This community.
 

KERRY
What?! You are not making sense.
 

LUCY
(Sigh)Remember my friend Dot? I was in her wedding last year at Gesu, the church around the corner. Well, at her wedding she introduced me to the landlord, Bob - he’s like the Mayor of the block. So after Dot and Kevin bought a house further north in the neighborhood, she told me about the place and I had her re-introduce me to the Landlord, because you can only be invited. I want to be married so I jumped at it.
 

KERRY
What?!
 

LUCY
You’ve got to stop saying that.
 

KERRY
Well, you’ve got to make some sense!
 

LUCY
Every woman who has rented a flat from Bob on Warrington has ended up getting married. They are called the Women of Warrington. You can only be invited to live in one of Bob's flats - he doesn’t advertise and he doesn’t guarantee but everyone knows it will happen. Dot was the 10th one. When she left she handed me the prayer card that was given to her. You are supposed to recite this on each one of the original four women’s wedding anniversaries. Anne’s is next week.

 

KERRY
Who’s Anne?

 

 

-END EXCERPT-