THE ROXYS & BLEU    ©2009

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Pat Jones a.k.a.  P.J. Edghill

       

 

        PLAYS

Excerpt: 

CAST

ROXY JACOB - 20’S Caucasian/Jewish actress

ROXY LANE - Mid 30’s African-American famous actress from the 80's

BLEU - Mid 30’s Roxy's Caucasian/White, big time producer husband

MAN IN BATHROOM - 20's or30's Hollywood type handsome

WOMAN IN BATHROOM – 20’s looks like Roxy Jacob

“THE ROXYS & BLEU”

 

InT. Day. plush unisex bathroom of an old hollywood hotel - the roxybleu. Roxy jacobs, with a bag over her shoulDer enters. She attempts to look nonchalant as she looks around, but she is excited and in awe to be there. A male customer checks her out as he washes his hands. She smiles selfconsciously. roxy jacobs cannot see ghosts Roxy lane () or bleu (lounging on the furniture. Roxy jacobs' phone rings. she digs in her bag, as male customer exits.

 

ROXY JACOBS

Hey! Hold on. (She checks under each stall) OK. (She lets out a long scream) Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I just had to get that out...I know It is CRAZY I'm here. It's c---rai---zy I got the audition. No Clue how they got my headshot.

Roxy Lane & Bleu high-five each other.

ROXY JACOBS (CON'T)

Yeah, I'm auditioning in front of him. Dude he's fucking huge. I heard he golfs with Steven Speilberg every week. Yeah I'm in THE bathroom...I know all that in fact I'm the one who told you this is where the unisex bathroom in Ally McBeal came from. My Mom told me every episode we watched...My Mom? She's beside herself, for 3 Days she has forgiven me for becoming an actress (she laughs)....Oh yeah she's convinced that since I'm named after her, I'm in THEIR hotel and they died here that Roxy and Bleu themselves are going to help me get this...ha! I know. Small detail to my Mom she died of a drug overdose and they were estranged...No I'm not going to do it. No!....OK. (In another accent meant to be her mother's)"Now you know Roxy & Bleu were soul mates who just hit a bump on the road of Love".

Roxy Jacob plops down on the couch and leans back laughing into the phone not realizing that she has landed in between Roxy Lane and Bleu. Bleu looks down her shirt Roxy Lane slaps him.

 

ROXY JACOB (CONT'D)

Oh yeah she totally buys the crap that they haunt this place. Well they are welcome to show up and give me some pointers-

A woman enters the Powder Room. Bleu stands up. The woman takes one look at Roxy Jacob gives her a disdainful look and leaves.

 

ROXY JACOB (CONT'D)

Uh-oh. The competition is fierce! I better go. I've got to get ready. I'll call you after...Bye!

 

Roxy Jacob hangs up the phone and stands in front of the mirror examining her face and body. As she makes faces in the mirror and recites some lines, she doesn't realize that she's being watched by the ghost of Roxy Lane. Roxy Jacob looks at her breasts in the mirror and cups them.

 

ROXY JACOB (CONT'D)

Come on girls...earn your keep.Bleu stands beside her checking them out.

 

Bleu

She really does have magnificent tits.

 

Roxy lane

Shut up!

 

Roxy Lane picks up a mirror and does what would be a line of blow if she was alive. She snorts loudly and wipes her nose. The sound can be heard and startles Roxy Jacob who looks around the room.

 

ROXY LANE (CONT'D)

Nice tits. In my day you could get a studio to pay for them. How much did those set you back? Blow?

Roxy Jacob jumps as she can suddenly see Roxy Lane.

 

ROXY JACOB

Fuck! Your...

 

ROXY LANE

The one and only...

 

BLEU

(In announcer voice) Roxy Lane!

Roxy Jacob jumps as she can now see Bleu

 

ROXY JACOB

And your Blue

 

BLEU

Actually it's Bleu-

 

ROXY LANE

More like Blah

 

BLEU

(Ignoring Roxy) Like the French. You know me?

 

ROXY LANE

Down Boy! She won't fuck you for the role. You're dead.

 

ROXY JACOB

Oh my God it's really you...and you're really him. You look amazing!

 

ROXY LANE

Ah! One of the benefits of death. In the after life you revert to your best looking self.

 

ROXY JACOB

Wow! Your gorgeous! No one will ever believe this...Shit! This is surreal. I'm Roxy Jacob.

Roxy Jacob extends a hand and vigorously shakes Roxy's hand and then Bleu's. Then Hugs Roxy Lane. Roxy Lane disengages herself.

 

ROXY JACOB (CONT'D)

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I...I...I...it's just I'm named after you. My Mom made me watch or listen to everything you've ever done. I've seen every episode of Red Hotel where you played the psychic prostitute with the big heart. And my parents always told me I was conceived to your album Blue Haze...OK! I know TMI, TMI, but I thought you'd want to know... I mean my Mom LOVES you! You're like the first Black actress to win an Emmy, Oscar, Tony and Golden Globe. I studied your Oscar acceptance speech... (Roxy Lane does the Speech with Roxy Jacob- they are in perfect sync) "This is for every little black girl who wore a towel and tossed her head with her towel hair. This is to show you that you can toss your head without the towel hair and hold your head high." Oh my God I cry every time Ihear it. My Mom was depressed for months after you died. That’s when she started on the Prozac...And you (turning to Bleu)! You like pioneered cable TV. Oh My God the two of you were like the coolest couple. Your love story was legendary, you like, fought against the odds and were like the coolest interracial couple.

 

ROXY LANE

That was until he gave me some really bad blow that killed me.

 

BLEU

It killed me too. I didn't know.

 

ROXY LANE

Typical you wouldn't check something out first.

 

BLEU

It came from my cousin Lenny, come on...

 

ROXY LANE

And he was jealous of everything you had including me!

 

BLEU

Can you blame him? Look at you - you're magnificent!

 

ROXY LANE

Don't try and charm me Bleu... I know-

 

BLEU

And love-

 

ROXY LANE

All your tricks.

 

BLEU

Roxy...there's no one I'd rather be with for all eternity...

 

ROXY LANE

Oh Bleu!They passionately kiss, for a long uncomfortable time.

 

ROXY JACOB(clears her throat)

Ahhh... OK! Excuse me!

Roxy L. and Bleu brake apart and look surprised.

 

ROXY JACOB (CONT'D)

Listen, this is unbelievably cool and all, and I'm dying to chat but I've got to get upstairs and audition. I'm assuming you're hear to help me, I mean you know HBO's hired one of the biggest directors to tell your story? Of course you know...I'm sure that's why you are here because I'm auditioning for the lead. I'm going to play you (pointing at Roxy Lane) so tell me everything I need to know.

Both Roxy L. and Bleu stare at Roxy J. then at each other.

 

ROXY LANE

Oh no, no, no, no, no, NO! The deal was we help this child get the part and then we get to heaven. But I am not helping no white girl get the role of Me!

 

ROXY JACOB

But I am you. I'm Black in my soul. I hung out with all the black kids at school. Do you know how many girls were jealous because I was named after you? My Bap Mitzvah was Red Hotel themed - I was you, I-

 

Roxy L. puts her hand over Roxy J.'s mouth and turns to Bleu.

 

ROXY LANE

Who told you we had to help this child?

 

 

 

-END EXCERPT-